Why do people come out?


After a twenty-one-year-old me posted an emotional article in my personal blog, i copied the link and shared it to all of my closest friends through Short Message Service without reading it for the second time. I insisted that they have to read it because there was such an important thing in it that i wanted them to know. Something about me which i believed it would be the determiner of our friendship; whether our relation was the real true friendship or just an opportunistic-friendship that would be ended after they finnished  reading my article and found out my real face.

The waiting of the responds was ended and i finally got the reply texts they sent me with emotional emojies at the end of it. They have read it and what i expected became real; they found out who i really was and they hugged me with the sweet calming acceptence that they showed it through simple texts without trying to judge me. We were different, but it was okay.

Here is the bold; we were different. But at the same time, we also had a lot of things in common which made us not so different at all. I have been listening the songs that they liked, I have been watching movies which was starring actors that they adored, I have been reading books that they finished. I am, was and will always be and known as human. So do they. But there was more than just that.

I came out of the closet. I showed them my real self. I had nothing left to hide or to lie about. They already knew something that they should have known since the beginning. I was free. But it wasn’t the end. Instead, it was the beginning of my new life. A life which was a bit easier.

And then, my friend came to me and asked me a simple “why?” question. Not about who i was or what my sexual orientation was, but for the thing that I have done. Why did i tell all my close friends about that? He made me questioning myself with the same question which lead me into the long and deep thinking process and found the real answer which was deeper and more meaningful than the simple answer i gave him in the first place.

Why do people come out of the closet?

There is anothere question before this which is, who was in the closet? The answer is; People who have different opinions in something that majority think it’s not right to show that. Different people who tried to be fit in society but no matter how hard they tried, they just couldn’t. And in this topic, I focus on sexual-orientation issue. Something which is not a choice but unacceptable in society. So, the next question is Why do people do that?

There are so much reasons to answer that. But as I observe it, there is one common reason; tired of lying about their own selves.

Coming out of the closet is important. Not just for the one who did that but also for the people who they came out to, because before that action was started there were things that happened that required a long process of depression and sometimes made them to attempted suicide. These things happen because there is such a taboo that we try to ignore so hard that turns into a mist in our eyes that makes we can’t see the real fact clearly. When someone come out, it’s like wipers that clean off the fog from our eyes and makes us see even clearer. And when it happens, the acceptence is become more easire.

When i told my friends the truth, they were shocked because they have never thought that they had such friend like me. A person with different sexual orientation was almost appeared like a myth for them because the rareness of that that they knew it was exist only in medias, or far away in  another continent. But at that time, they knew it was real because i was there, talked to them, listened to them, and sometimes debated with them. They showed the acceptence just like they did before that article. Nothing was changed because they knew that i was more than my sexuality, because they knew important things that was no connection with my sexual prefference. Their acceptence was not only good for me, but also for them. It helped to changed their mind to know that differences are exist in this world.

Currently, a lot of famous people came out of the closet, from actors to singers to athletes. Some were backed by big medias and became the headlines. The celebration of acceptence then shown by a lot of people, from the simple congratulations to the big parades. But among the major acceptence, there are always people who think that those such things are useless and nonsense because people dont need to know about who sleeps with whom. The fact is, that kind of opinion is such a fallacy it leads into a big misunderstanding.

Coming out doesnt mean that a person wants the world to know about his sexual activities. More than that, coming out means they are ready to step up to the new level of their lives, to risk their comfort-zones to experience the better. They came out because they wanted to be like others, holding hands, hugging, and even marrying the one that they love. Coming out is such a protest to complain why they couldn’t do what most of people usually do. Because sexual orientation is not just about sex. Deeper than that, its about the partner of life untill the death come seperate them. Come out is important because someone somewhere is fighting thir lives against their own selves to be fit in a life with a rule that they don’t fit in. When they found out that they are not alone, a hope comes in their heart.

There is no proper way to come out. But there is a common thing in this act; the hope of a unconditionally acceptence.

Sexual orientation is still taboo out there. It is dangerous to talk about it. Even worse, it became a thread for them because the existence of them is against all of the rules that impossible for society to offer an acceptence. The discrimination is getting worse because it is provided by the institution which actually exist and was made for them to make their lives easier, but turned out to be opposing them.

This is the first reason why coming out is very important. The more people do it, the easier for society to accept it because they are everywhere. Some poeple are different, and they get over it. Just like my friends, they accept me because im just like them. I eat. I sleep. I shit. I dream. I have ambitions, I have things that I like and another things that I don’t like.

Like banana and orange. Some people only like and choose one of that, another pick both of that, and other people choose not to choose. If we could show the tolerance about things that we can choose, why couldn’t we accept things that we don’t choose and can’t change?

We are all dreaming about a peacefull life, aren’t we?


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